Back to business!

Well, I must say that the last month was exhausting, and went by before I could even say "What the hell?!!". I had a lot of fun and completely enjoyed my time away from the everyday banality of life. We really went all around London and parts of the UK and it was a nice thing tagging along with parents. it felt like being a child again. And now, they're back in India and i am back to my life which let's just say is as interesting as watching paint dry. Alright, depressing green paint drying on an uninhabited, desolate city park which is closed for want of funds!!! Howzzat? Get the picture? Hmm, that was a bit extreme. My life is actually not that boring. I joined the gym today (Applause!). I am lanning to take up some of the classes like kick-boxing and street dancing. Time to lose all those xtras I have put on thanks to the English food i gorge on all the time. I am turning out to be a total shopaholic. Not entirely my fault, okay. The summer sale is on, which means you have to shop. It's just a obligatory thing now, right? And I had to buy a gift for my cousin's baby who's turning a year old this Saturday. So, I went out and bought a cool Espirit bag for less than half it's price and also a cool, simple classy halter top. No, not for the baby...that was for me! So basically today was a good day, both at work and after. Aah, me, I've got my groove back...Now it's time for my beauty sleep. But before that, I need to mention this. I watched the latest flick - Jane Tu ... Ya Jane Na, and I loved it. Full timepass, entertaining, not-boring-at-any-time kinda movie. Albiet I was a little skeptical initially as I really don't like best-buddies-turn-lovers kinda movies, and inspite of that I enjoyed it thoroughly. Silly, unrealistic comedy makes you laugh and after 2.5 hrs you come out of the theatre smiling and happy. Me and my roommate had a nice dinner before we started for the movie and we had topped ourselves up with Malibu, so needless to say we were giggling the loudest in the movie hall. Teeheeheee. I am looking forward to the weekend now, just a day to go. Coolio!

Alrighty then...here's to u friend!

These are a few nice bye-bye kinda songs that I really like.... ---------------------------------------------------------- After you go, I can catch up on my readin' After you go, I'll have a lot more time for sleepin' And when you're gone Looks like things are gonna get a lot easier Life will be a breeze you know I really should be glad, but I'm Bluer than blue, sadder than sad You're the only light this empty room has ever had Life without you is gonna be bluer than blue --- So I was the one with all the glory, while you were the one with all the strength. A beautiful face without a name for so long. A beautiful smile to hide the pain. Did you ever know that you're my hero, and everything I would like to be? I can fly higher than an eagle, for you are the wind beneath my wings. It might have appeared to go unnoticed, but I've got it all here in my heart. I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it. I would be nothing without you.

---

If I could save time in a bottle

The first thing that Id like to do

Is to save every day

Till eternity passes away

Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever

If words could make wishes come true

Id save every day like a treasure and then,

Again, I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time

To do the things you want to do

Once you find them

Ive looked around enough to know

That youre the one I want to go

Through time with

If I had a box just for wishes

And dreams that had never come true

The box would be empty

Except for the memory

Of how they were answered by you

---

Beyond the door

There's peace I'm sure.

And I know there'll be no more...

Tears in heaven

Would you know my name

If I saw you in heaven

Will it be the same

If I saw you in heaven

I must be strong, and carry on

Cause I know I don't belong

Here in heaven

----

And finally - the one that says it all...

I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears

And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

'Cause your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light

Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face it haunts

My once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away

All the sanity in me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

But though you're still with me

I've been alone all along

-------

I believe I can fly...

off the handle... all the time... I think I need to get drunk... totally ...completely transformed to the state of Nirvana. And that's exactly what I plan to do the whole of next week. It's vacation time ..Yaaaayyyyy!! After long hard months of work, i finally get a week all to myself. It has been such a long time since I had a holiday. Well, alright, it wasn't that long ago, maybe. But then the last time we went on a holiday doesn't really count as it was a disaster and by the time I returned, I was a 1000 times more stressed out than I was. But that's a different story - one that I have no wish to re-live at this moment, maybe some other time, down the line (if i am still writing i.e.). So, I am off to my sister's place in Birmingham day after tomorrow and it's the endless gossip that I really look forward to, with both of us curled on the couch knocking down glasses of wine and bitching and giggling. You see, that's the major advantage of having a sister. Never mind all the hand-me-downs you might have had to put up with all your life, but baby, you got your girl when you need one. Another pluspoint of this vacation is that my parents have come down for a month and are currently there with her, so, as a result it would involve some sight-seeing as well. Scottish highlands, charming lake resorts, aha! Looking back at the kind of day I had at work, I am ready to flee at the word go! And on top of all that, it doesn't take a dime to get me all worked up and irritated these days. After a little bit of introspection and analysis I have satisfactorily diagnosed it as PMS. And then, icing on the cake - there's this guy at work who annoys me to no end! I just can't tolerate this category of men. You know, the kind who try to show off at each and every opportunity even when there is none, and they like to assume that they know all the sure-shot formulaes of attracting the female species when all they actually do is turn them so off that they are poised to run for their lives at the first available moment. This guy just gets on my nerves and I just want to scream out in a girl scout way - 'Attention!Stand at ease....Maintain at least one arm distance please!!!' (Note: I think i am a poetess in the making...) It often happens with guys like these, they try to touch you all the time, in the so-called pally way. Boss...I would rather be permanently labelled miss-hi-and-mighty-touch-me-not than entertain the likes of you! As for the courteous show of friendship, please give it a pass! As cliched as it might just seem, most women can make out the various paths the mind of a male strolls along, just by the way they look at you. (God help those women who can't.) Of course, there are exceptions as always, and it also depends on how much you are attracted to the man in question...mmmm. Imagine, the man you are attracted to giving you really dirty looks...wow! That's pretty raunchy, don't you think? Nah...more like a sad C-grade adult movie, if you ask me... So, this guy and all my out-of-control hormones constitute a killer-combo and just drain out all my patience and by the EOD I am seething with fury, frustration aimed at everyone and no one. The worst part of all this is that it sets all the cogs and springs of my clockwork mind whirring in full speed, and I turn into an all-introspective and philosophical loser (yeah .. a worse loser than I already am!). And I end up wallowing in my own self-pity. Precisely at which point a drunken stupor becomes the need of the hour which cannot be fulfilled on a weekday owing to a.) your work hours which means you have to start early, rise and shine, and b.) you don't really want to get drunk in a sidey pub in London all alone just because you don't have nice company and are avoiding the bad ones. There's just one more day to go, and then i'll be off to meet my family and dive into my holidays head-on. WooooHoooo!

Why things never end up the way you plan...

There would be nothing to forward to life then. It would just plain kill the sense of adventure, the thrill of living... Right! As if this mundane, clockwork life-style that we do live can be described as an adventure. But then, when we talk about our lives to people, we never really mention our typical uneventful day, do we? We speak about those things which caught us unawares, out of the blue, and just lead us down a completely different path. That path travelling which we have reached where we stand right now. I read somewhere that life is all about making choices. It does make a lot of sense. I mean, you choose your friends, your job, your education, your soul mate...and the list usually covers all the so-called important aspects of a standard life. I do have faith in choices and so I make mine very carefully. Given any situation i usually analyse, all the pros and cons, all amounting to one thing - 'Thou shalt not regret'. Yeah, that used to be my eleventh commandment...one of the greatest sins anyone can commit according to me, coz you have just one life and there should be no place in it for regrets!

And just when you are striding along feeling all proud of yourself and you have a small teasing voice whispering in your ear 'Go on Gal...Life's been good so far', someone throws a huge hurdle in you way.

There I am suddenly face-to-face with my worst fears, biggest dilemmas, most traumatic situations ever. How do you make any choices (forget right or wrong) when your mind just gives up? No amount of training can actually prepare any person for situations which force humans to accept humbly the strength of a divine power, simply because nothing is in their control anymore.

Every single person stands up and shines in a calm and sunny weather. It is all about what the storm does to them.

There are things in life which challenge the very foundation of your faith. You grow up believing in things and suddenly you are not sure what your beliefs are.

I have now realised that I am a human being, a flawed person. I am no God or saint.

I also know that when you enter this world to live a life you sign a contract till the end. You cannot give up or give in. You just have to move on.

Good deeds, bad deeds, happiness, disaster all just make you who you are and etch out the path that you need to travel. If you knew that your life will end in the next 10 mins, would you do anything differently? No. It would take you more than 10 mins to decide what you want to do anyways, that's just us.

So, I have decided, I will let life take it's own course and do just what makes me happy. Happiness can't go wrong. If i am happy till the end of my life, I have lived. That's what matters.

So, bring it on! I am ready for it.

Fairy Tales

I always wonder whether my life will have a fairy tale ending.
But then, fairy tales do seem a bit silly. It is like sifting through life, separating the good from bad and compressing it to somehow get through to the happy ending.
But how many fairy tales we know have actually ended? Just look at all of them - and they 'live' happily ever after. Now, that means that fairy tales end the moment life begins!
That's a crazy thought really, but a point to ponder nevertheless. Maybe that's why fairy tales bear absolutely no relevance to reality, because they end before the beginning.

Just imagine, how many frogs would you actually like to kiss until you find your prince charming? And what if you realise in between that you, in fact, are the frog and should wait for some airhead prince charming to come and kiss you instead( he would have to be a complete idiot to actually want to kiss a frog when he already has hundreds of prospective princesses falling over to kiss him)!

But what if your wildest dreams come true? What if you wake up some day and find that the guy you have been dreaming of secretly for the past few months has actually decided to ask you out?
What if he picks you as his dream lady out of the many women swooning for his attention?
What would you like to call it? Wishful thinking or a fairytale?

I'd settle for a fairy tale. Why? Just because it sounds more romantic... ;D
But until it actually happens, it is just wishful thinking.