I wonder if the day would ever dawn when I would not feel the intense longing to have the things I don’t own. Does a human being ever stop wanting things?
I always wanted to visit European countries. Now that I have been to all the places which are considered a must-visit-at-least-once-in-a-lifetime, is my desire to travel and visit new countries and experience new culture any less than it used to be? No, it has just changed, metamorphosed into a wish to visit places less known, but it’s essence remains – untarnished, it’s merry flames cackling happily like a mean witch’s laughter.
Most of our thoughts begin with ‘I want…’ or ‘I don’t want…’ . Whether we voice it or not, we never cease to aspire for bigger or better. Desire has been labeled sinful by people and religions all around the world. Why is it such a taboo? Is it a sin to wish for a happier existence? When we speak about God and the wonderful life bestowed upon us, we try and delve deep and find a meaning to this life. Why then is it so hard to imagine that God perhaps meant us to just be happy? To be happy is to find out what we really want and then just do it.
The mere fact that want and desires are never ending, is what has lead to this reaction of mankind. But we kindle it in our heart and souls. It has been given a myriad of names to make it seem less notorious and give a positive side to it. We have called it hope, aspiration, ambition and dreams. We have bred it under the guise of fancies and given it wings, cheering it on as it takes flight.
Monday, 12 October 2009
Saturday, 9 May 2009
Tokyo travails - I
It has been just over a month since I landed in Tokyo, and I havent really been to a lot of places yet. And past few weeks have been busy with apartment viewings, contract signing, but yayyy!! I am finally going to move to my new house, haven, hearth ...home. It's this sweet warm flat with huge french windows and sliding doors made of paper and shiny wooden flooring. The bedroom floors are actually made of tatami mats - how cool is that?! But there is no internet connection yet, but that should be done soon and then I will be all nicely settled down.
So, you can imagine that the weekends were booked, what with all the purchases and moving half of my stuff.
I have still managed to check out a couple of places in and around though.
The first weekend, that is, the day after I landed, I went to Kasai-Rinkai Koen. It is a park and basically consists of a couple of man-made islands. It's also got a giant ferris wheel nearby, which proved to be a little dissapointing as it goes much-much slower than our Indian-mela-style giant wheels, but you get a great view of the city from high up so it was pretty good.
There was also an area with lots of slot-machines for games - the Japanese are very much into these games - pachinko and what nots - so you kinda find them everywhere around here.
My friends and I decided to try our hands at making our own cotton candy - you insert coins into this cotton candy machine and it spurs into action and then you just try to grab as many wisps of the sugary cotton as you can with a stick. It was lots of fun and I ended up with a lopsided white fuzzy shapeless mess in my hands. Of course, I insisted on sharing it - I have a big heart. Tee hee hee. We ended that evening by having awesome Mexican food at the -El Torito - and I must say the fajitas were yummy.
The second trip that we had was a real fun trip. We decided to hire a car and since the guys have been here for quite a long while now, they have seen almost all of the 'nice' places around Tokyo. We finally googled up some Tokyo German Village near Chiba and headed towards it. We had an early start so we stopped over to pick up some breakfast. The cars go at amazing speeds in Tokyo and my friend's driving skills actually deserve more than just a mention. He manoeuvred the turns at full speeds and we were all thrown around in the car like rag-dolls despite wearing seat belts!! It was just one heck of a roller-coaster experience but wot-the-heck - it was fun nevertheless.
The village itself is just a landscaped turf mainly, with flowers and a few timbered houses serving German food and playing German folk songs and Das Deutschlandlied from speakers so that you can hear them everywhere you go. But then, there were these tulip gardens which look and feel great even though you have seen them before - with rows and rows of these pretty flowers in deep red, pink, yellow and white. There was also a tiny 'zoo' section with mountain goats (they actually looked german to me), sheep, dog-like-hybrids, guinea pigs. And then, the hi-light of this village are the games. We tried our hand at archery and I nearly lost an eye! - well okay, that was exaggerated. We had never tried it before and the guy at the stalls, fitted me with this gear and taught me the 'technique' and I actually hit the target-board with my first arrow - yayyyy!!! Sooo, I got pretty excited and you see, the wire which you actually pull to launch the arrow is extremely taut and you need a lot of force to pull it back. I forgot to keep my eye out of my hands way - I was aiming for the bull's eye (as if!!) and BAM! the hand recoiled and hit me in the eye and I swear I saw candles swimming around me. It actually seems quite funny now, but boy, it hurts to get a black-eye ...and I got a red blood clot in my cornea as well. Eventually, I used up the rest of my arrows and this time none of them were remotely near the bulls eye - I was busy protecting my 'good' eye.
Then there was this sliding game which was truly mindblowing. All we could see from a distance was a huge, steep, grassy-looking slope with people coming down it. Obviously, we were intrigued into trying it out. It was this plasticky green turf with small ridges in it that was spread thoughout the slope. We picked up these small plastic trays and hand gloves and trudged up the steps on the side till we reached right up to the top. Then, you just have to sit on these trayswith curled up knees and push urself until you reach the edge and then down you go...wheeeeeeee.....bumping all the way over the small ridges and slide to a stop at the bottom. It was hilarious and we kept coming back loads of times. I was the only one screaming all the way down apparently - but that's what made it so much fun!
I almost knocked down a tiny kid who was so shocked when I whizzed past barely missing him by nano-meteres that he stared open-mouthed for full 3 minutes...haha.
Then we wrapped up from there and moved on to this Kamogawa Seaworld where they had Dolphin, killer whales and sea-lion shows....it was really amazing.
It sounds ridiculous even as I now write it, but I actually kinda almost teared up during the killer whale show. It is really amazing how man and these huge sea -mammals can connect so beautifully. The whale visible loved that girl who was doing all those tricks and the chemistry actually reminded you of 'Free Willy'.
It wasnt really much, but it was a good start.
Last week was actually a long holiday week - Golden Week. We had Mon, Tue and Wed off and it was nice and relaxing and I shifted most of the stuffs to my new home. And I visited Tokyo Disneyland on Monday. It was as usual a hap-hap-happy day - Walt Disney deserves a place in heaven for spreading so much happiness. The rides I enjoyed most was the splash mountain... it is this boat kinda coaster which goes inside an artificial mountain which is beautiful from inside - it's supposed to be Brer Rabbit's home with lots of frogs and bears and foxes singing along with small drops and rizes along the way and then at the end you have this humongous vertical drop where every one screams their lungs out as you can actualy feel you insides dropping and all you can see below is a huge bed of artificial thorns designed to hide the actual tunnel opening. It's thrilling and happy - a great combination for a ride.
Then we had a jungle ride, space mountain, star wars, the usual stuff. It really makes me think just how much money would have gone into creating this huge space with such beautiful artwork complete and perfect to the last details, and all working like clockwork without any hitches.
Anyhow, I bought a pair of Minnie ears and wore them throughout looking all cute and minnie-mousey :) and a disney tumbler full of caramel popcorns and smoked turkey legs and all mickey shaped chicken nuggets, ice-cream sandwich, ice lollies. Sigh, sigh...I wish every single day could be a repitition of this. Okay - I don't really want that. I just wrote it as it sounds poetic...or whatever.
Not a single plan for this weekend, except that I am starting a new 'healthy- resolution'. I am gonna go on a diet and eat only caloriemates(ugghh) and run for at least a mile and a half every evening. I keep eating and sitting at my desk all day and I can feel that I have put on quite a lot of weight and ergo the above resolution.
So, you can imagine that the weekends were booked, what with all the purchases and moving half of my stuff.
I have still managed to check out a couple of places in and around though.
The first weekend, that is, the day after I landed, I went to Kasai-Rinkai Koen. It is a park and basically consists of a couple of man-made islands. It's also got a giant ferris wheel nearby, which proved to be a little dissapointing as it goes much-much slower than our Indian-mela-style giant wheels, but you get a great view of the city from high up so it was pretty good.
There was also an area with lots of slot-machines for games - the Japanese are very much into these games - pachinko and what nots - so you kinda find them everywhere around here.
My friends and I decided to try our hands at making our own cotton candy - you insert coins into this cotton candy machine and it spurs into action and then you just try to grab as many wisps of the sugary cotton as you can with a stick. It was lots of fun and I ended up with a lopsided white fuzzy shapeless mess in my hands. Of course, I insisted on sharing it - I have a big heart. Tee hee hee. We ended that evening by having awesome Mexican food at the -El Torito - and I must say the fajitas were yummy.
The second trip that we had was a real fun trip. We decided to hire a car and since the guys have been here for quite a long while now, they have seen almost all of the 'nice' places around Tokyo. We finally googled up some Tokyo German Village near Chiba and headed towards it. We had an early start so we stopped over to pick up some breakfast. The cars go at amazing speeds in Tokyo and my friend's driving skills actually deserve more than just a mention. He manoeuvred the turns at full speeds and we were all thrown around in the car like rag-dolls despite wearing seat belts!! It was just one heck of a roller-coaster experience but wot-the-heck - it was fun nevertheless.
The village itself is just a landscaped turf mainly, with flowers and a few timbered houses serving German food and playing German folk songs and Das Deutschlandlied from speakers so that you can hear them everywhere you go. But then, there were these tulip gardens which look and feel great even though you have seen them before - with rows and rows of these pretty flowers in deep red, pink, yellow and white. There was also a tiny 'zoo' section with mountain goats (they actually looked german to me), sheep, dog-like-hybrids, guinea pigs. And then, the hi-light of this village are the games. We tried our hand at archery and I nearly lost an eye! - well okay, that was exaggerated. We had never tried it before and the guy at the stalls, fitted me with this gear and taught me the 'technique' and I actually hit the target-board with my first arrow - yayyyy!!! Sooo, I got pretty excited and you see, the wire which you actually pull to launch the arrow is extremely taut and you need a lot of force to pull it back. I forgot to keep my eye out of my hands way - I was aiming for the bull's eye (as if!!) and BAM! the hand recoiled and hit me in the eye and I swear I saw candles swimming around me. It actually seems quite funny now, but boy, it hurts to get a black-eye ...and I got a red blood clot in my cornea as well. Eventually, I used up the rest of my arrows and this time none of them were remotely near the bulls eye - I was busy protecting my 'good' eye.
Then there was this sliding game which was truly mindblowing. All we could see from a distance was a huge, steep, grassy-looking slope with people coming down it. Obviously, we were intrigued into trying it out. It was this plasticky green turf with small ridges in it that was spread thoughout the slope. We picked up these small plastic trays and hand gloves and trudged up the steps on the side till we reached right up to the top. Then, you just have to sit on these trayswith curled up knees and push urself until you reach the edge and then down you go...wheeeeeeee.....bumping all the way over the small ridges and slide to a stop at the bottom. It was hilarious and we kept coming back loads of times. I was the only one screaming all the way down apparently - but that's what made it so much fun!
I almost knocked down a tiny kid who was so shocked when I whizzed past barely missing him by nano-meteres that he stared open-mouthed for full 3 minutes...haha.
Then we wrapped up from there and moved on to this Kamogawa Seaworld where they had Dolphin, killer whales and sea-lion shows....it was really amazing.
It sounds ridiculous even as I now write it, but I actually kinda almost teared up during the killer whale show. It is really amazing how man and these huge sea -mammals can connect so beautifully. The whale visible loved that girl who was doing all those tricks and the chemistry actually reminded you of 'Free Willy'.
It wasnt really much, but it was a good start.
Last week was actually a long holiday week - Golden Week. We had Mon, Tue and Wed off and it was nice and relaxing and I shifted most of the stuffs to my new home. And I visited Tokyo Disneyland on Monday. It was as usual a hap-hap-happy day - Walt Disney deserves a place in heaven for spreading so much happiness. The rides I enjoyed most was the splash mountain... it is this boat kinda coaster which goes inside an artificial mountain which is beautiful from inside - it's supposed to be Brer Rabbit's home with lots of frogs and bears and foxes singing along with small drops and rizes along the way and then at the end you have this humongous vertical drop where every one screams their lungs out as you can actualy feel you insides dropping and all you can see below is a huge bed of artificial thorns designed to hide the actual tunnel opening. It's thrilling and happy - a great combination for a ride.
Then we had a jungle ride, space mountain, star wars, the usual stuff. It really makes me think just how much money would have gone into creating this huge space with such beautiful artwork complete and perfect to the last details, and all working like clockwork without any hitches.
Anyhow, I bought a pair of Minnie ears and wore them throughout looking all cute and minnie-mousey :) and a disney tumbler full of caramel popcorns and smoked turkey legs and all mickey shaped chicken nuggets, ice-cream sandwich, ice lollies. Sigh, sigh...I wish every single day could be a repitition of this. Okay - I don't really want that. I just wrote it as it sounds poetic...or whatever.
Not a single plan for this weekend, except that I am starting a new 'healthy- resolution'. I am gonna go on a diet and eat only caloriemates(ugghh) and run for at least a mile and a half every evening. I keep eating and sitting at my desk all day and I can feel that I have put on quite a lot of weight and ergo the above resolution.
Saturday, 25 April 2009
Of all things and nothing...
Well, okay...life has been busy. And i do not have any better excuse for not writing.
So, I have been quite the globe trotter now, as my friends keep saying, but duuuuudes, the trip to Japan is just my second trip. But what do you know, I like the title already ;)
I left London on 22nd of November last year, but i would definitely like to return someday.
Then I went to Bangalore after spending a week at home with mom and dad and getting spoilt. I didn't really do much on the vacation but sleep all day and spent the night chatting on the internet with old friends. My parents got really frustrated at this night-owl-resembling behaviour of mins but heyy, they sympathised with my 'jet-lag'. ha ha.
Guys and gals, you might think that all those bloody NRIs who come back after spending time 'abroad' are all just a bunch of pretentious bastards with huge goggles and big bags, sweating and heaving along the roads of India with upturned noses. But actually, it is really difficult once your body gets adjusted to the cool weather and clean air of the 'foreignlands'.
Godddd, bangalore sucked initially. I had to travel in local buses to reach office and back, and i was hustled and bustled by people stinking sweat and coconut oil and wilted flowers and trust me, it was not pleasant even remotely.
And finding a house is such a pain - firstly, it's damn expensive!!! and secondly the contracts are for a year or more. Ergo, I decided to go for a PG and blimey, i have never witnessed such pathetic living conditions before. I mean, is this the so-called tech-city?? Narrow bunklike beds in a cockroach ridden room at times divided into several smaller spaces by plywoods (termite ridden ones - you got to look carefully), badly cooked unhygeinic food. Euuugggghhh!!!
I almost gave up, but then I found my haven, a nice litle 4 bhk just 20 mins walk from my office. woo hooooo!! Best thing was that the owner didn't stay with us and so it was almost like a rented place...with really low rent ;o)) and it was clean and spacious....
There were these amazing girls and we totally formed an awesome gang there.
We used to host pajama parties until 4AM and finish off a whole large VODKA bottle ..tee hee hee.
And since it was a residential colony of sorts, there used to be these guards patrolling at nights and they used to come up to our room and actually bang on our doors to ask us to bring down the noise. I personally think they were just jealous...you know we gals having a blast on Saturday nights and they doing patrolling....get the picture?
I actually screamed at them the first time under dutch courage - "Ye koi tareeka haiiii? Akele Ladkiyon ke ghar 12 baje aake is tarah se koi darwaaza knock karta hai kyaaa?? ' hahaha...i don't believe myself...
But seriously, it used to be fun. And then we used to talk and scream and tickle each other just for fun and talk all sorts of g-talks and generally hang out. I never cooked so these gals used to cook for me and i loved them for it.
Then there was my actual roomie, who was this amazingle sweet girl, who was married and away from here husband and really sad because of it. She had some issues, so I used to spend lot of time actually counselling her. I realised I have this hidden talent, maybe I can undertake a course or something and turn into a shrink, or just open a counselling bar or something - A tall glass of rum free..free..freee'. Yayyy!!!
Office used to be fun too, we used to go to this awesome pub called 'Purple Haze' which was just in front of our office and hang out almost every friday night...and generally talk over pitchers.
Sigh, those were good days.
But they are now over, and here I am in T-o-k-y-o.
Nice city..hi-tech and all...strange people who talk in a sing-song way...awfully hardworking (ohh nooo :(() but not that much fun.
But all about this in another blog.
For now...this is me signing off...with a song from Greenday..I hope you had the time of your life my friends, coz i sure know I did.
~Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test
and don't ask why.
It's not a question
but a lesson learned in time.
It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind.
Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time.
Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.
So, I have been quite the globe trotter now, as my friends keep saying, but duuuuudes, the trip to Japan is just my second trip. But what do you know, I like the title already ;)
I left London on 22nd of November last year, but i would definitely like to return someday.
Then I went to Bangalore after spending a week at home with mom and dad and getting spoilt. I didn't really do much on the vacation but sleep all day and spent the night chatting on the internet with old friends. My parents got really frustrated at this night-owl-resembling behaviour of mins but heyy, they sympathised with my 'jet-lag'. ha ha.
Guys and gals, you might think that all those bloody NRIs who come back after spending time 'abroad' are all just a bunch of pretentious bastards with huge goggles and big bags, sweating and heaving along the roads of India with upturned noses. But actually, it is really difficult once your body gets adjusted to the cool weather and clean air of the 'foreignlands'.
Godddd, bangalore sucked initially. I had to travel in local buses to reach office and back, and i was hustled and bustled by people stinking sweat and coconut oil and wilted flowers and trust me, it was not pleasant even remotely.
And finding a house is such a pain - firstly, it's damn expensive!!! and secondly the contracts are for a year or more. Ergo, I decided to go for a PG and blimey, i have never witnessed such pathetic living conditions before. I mean, is this the so-called tech-city?? Narrow bunklike beds in a cockroach ridden room at times divided into several smaller spaces by plywoods (termite ridden ones - you got to look carefully), badly cooked unhygeinic food. Euuugggghhh!!!
I almost gave up, but then I found my haven, a nice litle 4 bhk just 20 mins walk from my office. woo hooooo!! Best thing was that the owner didn't stay with us and so it was almost like a rented place...with really low rent ;o)) and it was clean and spacious....
There were these amazing girls and we totally formed an awesome gang there.
We used to host pajama parties until 4AM and finish off a whole large VODKA bottle ..tee hee hee.
And since it was a residential colony of sorts, there used to be these guards patrolling at nights and they used to come up to our room and actually bang on our doors to ask us to bring down the noise. I personally think they were just jealous...you know we gals having a blast on Saturday nights and they doing patrolling....get the picture?
I actually screamed at them the first time under dutch courage - "Ye koi tareeka haiiii? Akele Ladkiyon ke ghar 12 baje aake is tarah se koi darwaaza knock karta hai kyaaa?? ' hahaha...i don't believe myself...
But seriously, it used to be fun. And then we used to talk and scream and tickle each other just for fun and talk all sorts of g-talks and generally hang out. I never cooked so these gals used to cook for me and i loved them for it.
Then there was my actual roomie, who was this amazingle sweet girl, who was married and away from here husband and really sad because of it. She had some issues, so I used to spend lot of time actually counselling her. I realised I have this hidden talent, maybe I can undertake a course or something and turn into a shrink, or just open a counselling bar or something - A tall glass of rum free..free..freee'. Yayyy!!!
Office used to be fun too, we used to go to this awesome pub called 'Purple Haze' which was just in front of our office and hang out almost every friday night...and generally talk over pitchers.
Sigh, those were good days.
But they are now over, and here I am in T-o-k-y-o.
Nice city..hi-tech and all...strange people who talk in a sing-song way...awfully hardworking (ohh nooo :(() but not that much fun.
But all about this in another blog.
For now...this is me signing off...with a song from Greenday..I hope you had the time of your life my friends, coz i sure know I did.
~Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test
and don't ask why.
It's not a question
but a lesson learned in time.
It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind.
Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time.
Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.
Friday, 11 July 2008
Back to business!
| Well, I must say that the last month was exhausting, and went by before I could even say "What the hell?!!". I had a lot of fun and completely enjoyed my time away from the everyday banality of life. We really went all around London and parts of the UK and it was a nice thing tagging along with parents. it felt like being a child again. And now, they're back in India and i am back to my life which let's just say is as interesting as watching paint dry. Alright, depressing green paint drying on an uninhabited, desolate city park which is closed for want of funds!!! Howzzat? Get the picture? Hmm, that was a bit extreme. My life is actually not that boring. I joined the gym today (Applause!). I am lanning to take up some of the classes like kick-boxing and street dancing. Time to lose all those xtras I have put on thanks to the English food i gorge on all the time. I am turning out to be a total shopaholic. Not entirely my fault, okay. The summer sale is on, which means you have to shop. It's just a obligatory thing now, right? And I had to buy a gift for my cousin's baby who's turning a year old this Saturday. So, I went out and bought a cool Espirit bag for less than half it's price and also a cool, simple classy halter top. No, not for the baby...that was for me! So basically today was a good day, both at work and after. Aah, me, I've got my groove back...Now it's time for my beauty sleep. But before that, I need to mention this. I watched the latest flick - Jane Tu ... Ya Jane Na, and I loved it. Full timepass, entertaining, not-boring-at-any-time kinda movie. Albiet I was a little skeptical initially as I really don't like best-buddies-turn-lovers kinda movies, and inspite of that I enjoyed it thoroughly. Silly, unrealistic comedy makes you laugh and after 2.5 hrs you come out of the theatre smiling and happy. Me and my roommate had a nice dinner before we started for the movie and we had topped ourselves up with Malibu, so needless to say we were giggling the loudest in the movie hall. Teeheeheee. I am looking forward to the weekend now, just a day to go. Coolio! |
Saturday, 21 June 2008
Alrighty then...here's to u friend!
| These are a few nice bye-bye kinda songs that I really like.... ---------------------------------------------------------- After you go, I can catch up on my readin' After you go, I'll have a lot more time for sleepin' And when you're gone Looks like things are gonna get a lot easier Life will be a breeze you know I really should be glad, but I'm Bluer than blue, sadder than sad You're the only light this empty room has ever had Life without you is gonna be bluer than blue --- So I was the one with all the glory, while you were the one with all the strength. A beautiful face without a name for so long. A beautiful smile to hide the pain. Did you ever know that you're my hero, and everything I would like to be? I can fly higher than an eagle, for you are the wind beneath my wings. It might have appeared to go unnoticed, but I've got it all here in my heart. I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it. I would be nothing without you. |
---
If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that Id like to do
Is to save every day
Till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you
If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
Id save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
Ive looked around enough to know
That youre the one I want to go
Through time with
If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you
---
Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure.
And I know there'll be no more...
Tears in heaven
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven
----
And finally - the one that says it all...
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
-------
Friday, 20 June 2008
I believe I can fly...
| off the handle... all the time... I think I need to get drunk... totally ...completely transformed to the state of Nirvana. And that's exactly what I plan to do the whole of next week. It's vacation time ..Yaaaayyyyy!! After long hard months of work, i finally get a week all to myself. It has been such a long time since I had a holiday. Well, alright, it wasn't that long ago, maybe. But then the last time we went on a holiday doesn't really count as it was a disaster and by the time I returned, I was a 1000 times more stressed out than I was. But that's a different story - one that I have no wish to re-live at this moment, maybe some other time, down the line (if i am still writing i.e.). So, I am off to my sister's place in Birmingham day after tomorrow and it's the endless gossip that I really look forward to, with both of us curled on the couch knocking down glasses of wine and bitching and giggling. You see, that's the major advantage of having a sister. Never mind all the hand-me-downs you might have had to put up with all your life, but baby, you got your girl when you need one. Another pluspoint of this vacation is that my parents have come down for a month and are currently there with her, so, as a result it would involve some sight-seeing as well. Scottish highlands, charming lake resorts, aha! Looking back at the kind of day I had at work, I am ready to flee at the word go! And on top of all that, it doesn't take a dime to get me all worked up and irritated these days. After a little bit of introspection and analysis I have satisfactorily diagnosed it as PMS. And then, icing on the cake - there's this guy at work who annoys me to no end! I just can't tolerate this category of men. You know, the kind who try to show off at each and every opportunity even when there is none, and they like to assume that they know all the sure-shot formulaes of attracting the female species when all they actually do is turn them so off that they are poised to run for their lives at the first available moment. This guy just gets on my nerves and I just want to scream out in a girl scout way - 'Attention!Stand at ease....Maintain at least one arm distance please!!!' (Note: I think i am a poetess in the making...) It often happens with guys like these, they try to touch you all the time, in the so-called pally way. Boss...I would rather be permanently labelled miss-hi-and-mighty-touch-me-not than entertain the likes of you! As for the courteous show of friendship, please give it a pass! As cliched as it might just seem, most women can make out the various paths the mind of a male strolls along, just by the way they look at you. (God help those women who can't.) Of course, there are exceptions as always, and it also depends on how much you are attracted to the man in question...mmmm. Imagine, the man you are attracted to giving you really dirty looks...wow! That's pretty raunchy, don't you think? Nah...more like a sad C-grade adult movie, if you ask me... So, this guy and all my out-of-control hormones constitute a killer-combo and just drain out all my patience and by the EOD I am seething with fury, frustration aimed at everyone and no one. The worst part of all this is that it sets all the cogs and springs of my clockwork mind whirring in full speed, and I turn into an all-introspective and philosophical loser (yeah .. a worse loser than I already am!). And I end up wallowing in my own self-pity. Precisely at which point a drunken stupor becomes the need of the hour which cannot be fulfilled on a weekday owing to a.) your work hours which means you have to start early, rise and shine, and b.) you don't really want to get drunk in a sidey pub in London all alone just because you don't have nice company and are avoiding the bad ones. There's just one more day to go, and then i'll be off to meet my family and dive into my holidays head-on. WooooHoooo! |
Monday, 16 June 2008
Why things never end up the way you plan...
| There would be nothing to forward to life then. It would just plain kill the sense of adventure, the thrill of living... Right! As if this mundane, clockwork life-style that we do live can be described as an adventure. But then, when we talk about our lives to people, we never really mention our typical uneventful day, do we? We speak about those things which caught us unawares, out of the blue, and just lead us down a completely different path. That path travelling which we have reached where we stand right now. I read somewhere that life is all about making choices. It does make a lot of sense. I mean, you choose your friends, your job, your education, your soul mate...and the list usually covers all the so-called important aspects of a standard life. I do have faith in choices and so I make mine very carefully. Given any situation i usually analyse, all the pros and cons, all amounting to one thing - 'Thou shalt not regret'. Yeah, that used to be my eleventh commandment...one of the greatest sins anyone can commit according to me, coz you have just one life and there should be no place in it for regrets! |
And just when you are striding along feeling all proud of yourself and you have a small teasing voice whispering in your ear 'Go on Gal...Life's been good so far', someone throws a huge hurdle in you way.
There I am suddenly face-to-face with my worst fears, biggest dilemmas, most traumatic situations ever. How do you make any choices (forget right or wrong) when your mind just gives up? No amount of training can actually prepare any person for situations which force humans to accept humbly the strength of a divine power, simply because nothing is in their control anymore.
Every single person stands up and shines in a calm and sunny weather. It is all about what the storm does to them.
There are things in life which challenge the very foundation of your faith. You grow up believing in things and suddenly you are not sure what your beliefs are.
I have now realised that I am a human being, a flawed person. I am no God or saint.
I also know that when you enter this world to live a life you sign a contract till the end. You cannot give up or give in. You just have to move on.
Good deeds, bad deeds, happiness, disaster all just make you who you are and etch out the path that you need to travel. If you knew that your life will end in the next 10 mins, would you do anything differently? No. It would take you more than 10 mins to decide what you want to do anyways, that's just us.
So, I have decided, I will let life take it's own course and do just what makes me happy. Happiness can't go wrong. If i am happy till the end of my life, I have lived. That's what matters.
So, bring it on! I am ready for it.
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