Have a little faith

It's amazing how much of a difference it makes just to believe. To have the flicker of faith in your heart and to know that it will remain steady and guide you through the toughest of roads. It will keep you warm and safe and lead you along the right way. Suddenly the realisation dawns and you are peaceful and free because you know you don't have to worry.

I am not a very religious person, but yes, I am very spiritual. I believe that the existence of a world so beautiful and complex such as ours must have been the result of some sort of power. I do not believe that all of this was just a chance. It has to be something greater, something divine that created such intricacies and made it look so simple and wonderful.

I call it my God. I don't believe God can be contained in any religious boundaries or given any forms or restrictions. But yes, I am and always have been intrigued by the different religions. That is mainly because I feel a religion shapes a person and his/her outlook to a certain extent.

Few years ago, I witnessed my closest friend, who is a Muslim, fasting for the holy month of Ramadan. He went 30 days abstaining from food or water from dawn to dusk.
As I watched him, my curiosity was tickled and I started reading about it.
As I got to learn more and more about this, I realised that this was all about self-control and being a better person.

In our day-to-day lives, we do so many things and speak so many words that we tend to forget the purpose of being alive. We forget to think if we hurt someone, we forget to stop and ponder if we did any good deed today and we forget to feel thankful and grateful for being a part of this universe.
There are so many people who are not as fortunate as we are. People who have to go without food and water because they are poor and they are weak. People who have been trapped in the vicious circle of struggling to be alive and need to fight for every drop of nutrition and nourishment.
In the holy month of Ramadan or Ramzan, Muslims observe abstinence. They remind themselves of their good fortune by understanding and accepting the fact that food and water and other things that we take for granted otherwise, are a grace of God.

I found myself believing and it felt to me like I had to be a part of this.

This year, I observed the 30 days of Ramadan and I thank God for seeing me through it.

There are three pillars of Ramzan and the first and most important is "Niyyat" or intentions. You need to have the right intentions. You fast for God and to understand his grace and in obedience to that power which is responsible for this beautiful creation.
I had my intentions in the right place and though I was nervous because this was my first attempt at going without food and water for the duration of 15-16 hrs for 30 whole days, I had the faith that God will guide me.
I used to wake up every morning at 4:30 and have my Sehri or Suhoor. Most of the times it was the night before's left overs with a glass of milk and some fruits or dry fruits. Sometimes, I would just drink Milo and have a toast and go back to sleep.
Trust me, you do not feel hungry at 4 and it is very difficult to keep everything down specially with so much water. You have to have water because there's the risk of dehydration during the day otherwise.
First few days were difficult and I am not very good at staying hungry, but somehow, I never had any problems.
Post sunset, around 7:30pm, I would say my prayers and thank God and pray that the food and water provides me the nourishment if my God wills, and then eat and drink.
Every time I had someone to break my fast with. My friends supported me throughout this month with so much love and understanding. I shared my Ifthar with all of them.
I love you all and all this just made me realise what an amazing set of friends I had.
My sister was extremely supportive and caring and thanks to ramzan, I value her even more if possible.
I always had good food and good thoughts and my faith grew stronger.
Even though I felt ill a couple of times in the morning, and feared if I would be able to pull through the day, my belief never wavered and it was because at the end God did help me sail through with ease.
It felt as if He was physically holding my hand and guiding me, just like a parent looks after a child.

I celebrated Eid-ul-Fitr on 30th of August. I celebrated the joy of the new found faith. I celebrated life.

Now, I don't feel hungry during the day. Sometimes, I forget to drink water. At other times, when I eat something, I try to spit it out and then realise that no, wait a minute, I can eat during the day now. Things are now getting back to normal, but this is an experience that I would cherish.

I controlled my anger, my hunger and my thirst. I now understand what value a simple thing like a glass of water holds. I understand the value of food and hunger and the great feeling associated with helping a person in need or feeding a hungry soul.

There is nothing in life that will seem impossible to me, as my faith that all troubles will be resolved has now been re-inforced.

If you feel let down and your shoulders feel heavy,
Look up and shrug it off, have a little faith
If you think your problems are here to stay,
Smile and let them go, have a little faith
If your health fails you, you feel you won't be able to go on,
Let your God heal you, have a little faith

Our life may not be smooth, and things might not always go as planned. Happiness might be elusive and peace and satisfaction seem like something unattainable.
But a little faith goes a long long way. When you believe in good, you believe in hope, love and what you do and how you do it, you just need to keep walking. Things will work out.
To appreciate the cool quenching nature of water, you have to be dying of thirst. Just like that, the trials and tribulations that life poses, is necessary. Only as you pass through those, would you realise the true worth of peace and happiness.
And when everything seems too hard to bear, just count your blessings ... and you will realise that it is a wonderful world after all!

It's a dog's life

I love the stationary shops and can spend hours in one. 
When I got my bedroom renovated, I spent quite a huge amount of time (and a teeny bit of money, alas!) picking out bits and pieces to liven up my room and shelves. I was looking for a whiteboard with a marker that I could hang on my door just like the one that Joey and Chandler (from the hit TV series F.R.I.E.N.D.S) have.
If you ask me why do I need one, I do not have an answer. I did not have an answer when I was looking for it, but hey, it's my room and if I want a whiteboard with a marker and eraser and I am going to get myself one. Period.

So one evening, my flatmate and I head out to watch a movie (Captain America in 3D) and the only decent seats we get is for the 12:00 AM show. So we decide to utilise the couple of hours we have raiding the only shops in the vicinity that are open, followed by a dinner at burger king.
That's when I spot this ultra cute whiteboard. It's actually a chicken with this bright yellow borders and it holds a marker in it's arms or wings, whatever you may call it. 
(Here's a picture of it hanging right beside my door all bright and cheerful :)

I am delighted as it's the only piece left and I instantly buy it. We raid a few other shops and I end up buying a charming Charles and Keith sandal in blue and brown, and a wrist support to avoid carpal tunnel syndrome due to over-using the keyboard and the mouse at work, and few other knick-knacks. All of it took about an hour and even burger king closes at 11pm, leaving us with an hour to while away.
We roam around for about 30 mins gossiping about the essential differences in the views of a guy and a gal in a relationship and why some work whilst others don't. Profound topic and a giggling duo obviously means no sane conclusions whatsoever.
Finally, we sit down right in front of an escalator in a green bench-type thingy.
My flatmate gets a call from her home at that point, and needless to say I am completely bored. So, I start to go through all my shopping. I try on the shoes and admire them for a long time.
 I remove the whiteboard from the packaging it came in and uncap the marker.
I wonder what to write under the tiny heart shaped box marked "memo". Hmmm... I could be staying in my dream house. I'll wake up early in the morning as my pet St. Bernard (I love dogs and the bigger they are the more adorable they seem to me) will lick my face and thump it's tail against me. And I'll get up with a smile, put on my designer tracks and shoes, switch on the coffee machine and take my dog out for a walk.  
Before I realise I am writing down "Walk the Dog" under the memo with a stupid smile on my lips. 
Just then a guy walks across us towards the elevator, and as he spots me with all the shopping bags unravelled at my feet, a shoe in my hand and writing "walk the dog" on a memo pad at mid-night, in a deserted shopping mall and he gives me a look that says "the girl is completely bonkers....run!". And he actually runs away.
At the same moment, my flatmate and I both realise how it all might have seemed to that stranger and start laughing and don't stop for a long long time. 

The chicken-whiteboard - 3.70 $
The expression on the guy's face? Priceless.

Soul and Music

Last Friday Singapore's own Suntec City Mall played host to the immensely talented Raahat Fateh Ali Khan.

I am a person who thrives on music. You can always hear me humming or singing and I am the kind who comes up with a song for every word or occasion. I seem to know the lyrics to all the Bollywood songs and famous ghazals and long story short - I love everything musical. So for me this was a much awaited event. 

I have watched Euphoria (An Indian band led by Palash Sen) and Sonu Nigam perform live. The moment I heard of this, I booked my tickets. I simply adored Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan Saahab. I am using the longer version of his name because I feel the need to shower him with all the respect I can muster. I really believe he was blessed by God himself. The way he sang, with so much power and so much passion, it was always a pleasure to listen, to watch him and to hum all the songs that later on featured in Bollywood. 

He gave the music for "Aur Pyar Ho Gaya"and I love all the songs from that movie.

I was actually sad and felt a genuine loss when he passed away.

Then came along Raahat Fateh Ali Khan as the forebearer of the glorious musical gharana of Pakistan. 

I remember the first time I heard him was for the song "Garaj Baras" from the movie "Paap". I heard his voice blaring through the speakers of my TV and I was happily stunned. What amazing talent!

And then went on the strings of all the beautiful songs that tugged on my heartstrings and had me crooning.

And when I sat through his concert, it was as promised - "Simply Raahat". It was so overwhelmingly emotional for me that I cried through half of the songs.

One moment I was clapping and dancing to "Mera Piya Ghar Aaya" and "Allah Hu" and the next moment I had tears streaming down my face with "Ajj Din Chadheya" and "Teri yaad".
His rendition of "Ore Piya" had me dancing and swaying and I had to stop myself from breaking free and dancing across the auditorium to the stage and kissing the man.

The man. The voice. The Music.

What they say is true - Music is the language of souls. 

When you encounter the sheer power of pure unadulterated music, you transcend all earthly barriers and in that moment you are one with nature, one with God. That's why Sufi music is so divine and so profound. And I felt it on Friday - goosebumps, tears and all.

Simply Raahat? Simply Divine....

Taxi No.9211

I had the best taxi ride home tonight and I feel I must blog about it because I know that if in future I do read my own blog and come across this, it will make me smile.
Ok, so there is this place called Murugan's Idli in Little India which has the best Dosa and Idlis in Singapore all served with an array of wonderful chutneys. Mmmmm lip-smackingy delicious.
My flatmate, this awesomely cute friend of mine from work and I go there every once in a while for dinner. I have been fasting for Ramzan this year and hence to break the fast we decided to go to our good old Murugan's.
As per our Murugan's ritual, we always end our dinner with a trip to Mustafa's (it's a huge market-mall place in Singapore where you can find anything and everything from all over the world and all in reasonably cheap prices). And my friend and I end up singing and dancing to famous bollywood numbers while holding hands. We have never been drunk in that situation, but I swear to God anybody who sees us is convinced that we must have had at least a bottle of wine each! I guess we just get drunk on the happiness. It's always so much fun!

Tonight, we were singing the songs " Main shayar to nahin..." (From the hindi movie Bobby), Do lafzon ki hai dil ki kahani ... (the great gambler) and whilst we were in the middle of a loud rendition of "Chura Liya hai tumne jo dil ko... " (yaadon ki baraat), we got our taxi.
We got into the cab and since we did not want to leave the song half sung (my excuse - the song might take offense) we kept singing after we got in.
Now co-incidentally, the taxi-uncle turned out to be an avid fan of old hindi movie songs! He promptly started playing "Tum Bin Jaoon Kahan..." ( From the movie - Pyar ka Mausam - he explained) and we showed the appropriate enthusiasm with our "ooh wows" and "ahh very nice!"
That was all the encouragement he needed. He went on to say how exquisitely beautiful he thought Asha Parekh was (I kinda agree that inspite of her overly-large derriere, she was quite the looker in those days) and how handsome Shashi Kapoor looked.
"Now both become fat and ugly neh?" said uncle.
And we nodded our heads wisely saying...hmm true.
It turns out he was a fan of Madhubala and Sharmila Tagore too. And he adored Dev Anand and Rajendra Kumar.
Then he asked if we knew any Lata Mangeshkar's songs and if we would sing it for him. He apparently had a singer as his passenger but she was Tamil so couldn't sing his favorite hindi songs. I obliged and sang my heart out.
He rewarded me by putting on the only other song he had on his tiny mobile phone - "Main Shayar to nahin"!
"What a co-incidence?!" I gushed. We were just singing that!
And uncle was very happy and he was even happier and amazed that I knew the entire song - yet again!
I sang along in the taxi and then continued to sing other songs for him that include
- O nanhe se farishte from the movie ek phool do mali
- Aaja tujhko pukare mere geet re o mere mitwa mere meet  from the movie Geet
- Kaun hai jo sapno mein aaya ... this was because he loved Rajendra Kumar as well!

He advised me to go karaoke singing more often and I asked him if he goes often because he really was an excellent singer. Being a chinese he sang out Asli Naqli song beautifully.
He said he and his wife used to frequent Karaoke bars, but now he doesn't drink beer and so he doesn't go karaokeing - "no beer, no fun lah.... . Now I only sing for my wife", he said and laughed.

Ahh the romantics, they always re-kindle the faith I have in love and all forms of romance.

Then he said that though Shah Rukh Khan and all are very nice, old movies are still the best. Indian actors are so real and so good that they made him cry.
And here I was thinking, wow, hollywood has such great talent. They have amazing actors, while Bollywood is good only for hamming and melodrama. Taxi-uncle opened my eyes to all the talent that we have had the honour and fortune of watching in those growing-up years.
Hats-off to all the hard work and skill that goes into making Bollywood what it is today!

So, many songs and non-stop exchange of words and thoughts later,  I was at home and thanking him profusely for such an entertaining ride and hoping if I will even get to ride in his taxi again.
I'm hoping I do, because it's a small world and according to the spirit of Bollywood - anything might happen!

Fleeting moments with strangers can also leave you warm inside and these moments make you feel alive and happy.
Wishing uncle many more years of music and love...

Of chiffons and silk and shiny shoes...

Which means I have been a bad bad girl and gone on a shopping spree. Bad Shmad, there's nothing like a short black dress that makes you seem a lot slimmer, to help lift up your spirits sky-high.
Or a pure 100% silk polka dotted trench-coat styled dress that makes you look like a fashionista when you walk right through your office doors in it and makes your day look up instantly. 
Then of course there's the rusty orange one-piece dress suit, with tiny roses with pearls lining the neckline that looked fantabulous in the shop mirror but which i haven't had the opportunity to try out as it is with the shop for alteration. Team it up with the short black shrug jacket with the ruffled up sleeves and baby, I am having breakfast at Tiffany's :)
And then there were these peep toed suede and croc-skin brown and grey shiny shoes from Charles and Keith with just the right heels - my excuse? I was anyways looking for a peep toed-low height pair for a long time now, so, well.


Now, my wardrobe is kind of overflowing with dresses that I have not even worn once! There is another reason for this, besides my being possessed by the shopping demon, and that is my sweetest new friend. She is my colleague and is the most generous and fun girlfriend i have had in a long time. She has this collection of clothes that kind of don't fit her too well and surprisingly end up fitting me perfectly, and she keeps donating them to me and it's now like having a big sister in town whose closet you can share. 
And there are a few of those dresses that make me feel like a princess, a light canary yellow chiffon and satin wisp of a dress and a black sequined number that would be perfect for a dinner or some light clubbing. 
All I need now are occasions and I am going to go berserk around town with all of my wardrobe backing me right up. What more does a girl need? Who needs one doting guy, when just a piece of clothing off her clothes-rack can help her get admiring glances from hundreds of men? 
Thus begins, the twisted tails of 'Mia and her Wardrobe'....


Then there was also this tiny bit of home-stuff shopping that I am very happy about. I bought a pair of pen stands made of clay - a man-gnome and a woman-gnome, a pair of square painted blocks to brighten up my wall, a pair of potted plants - one of which is an amazing dark magenta colored Gloxinia, a sign that now hangs outside my door and proclaims that it is a 'Girl's Room' that you are about to enter, and a frilly red pillow for my work. 
All I need to do now is go get my new bed delivered to my home(thanks to the landlord succumbing to my wishes of having a double bed instead of a single one) and I am all set to the bliss of happy-home life.

The Corporate Challenge 2011

My first so-called marathon experience. Ok, so it's not really a marathon, because the distance we ran and walked in-between (it was Hot and Humid and plus the crowd...and a whole lot of other reasons!) was just 5.7 kms.

Everything aside, it was a fantastic evening. For the first time since I came here, not only our entire team, but also the entire office was empty by 5:00 PM. All the serious runners, got changed into the black and green JPMC t-shirts and were out by 4:30 pm. We started at around 5:30 pm and got into the bus that took us all the way from Capital Tower office to the esplanade bridge. The sight that welcomed us was amazing! Blue and silver balloons floating up and the bridge itself flanked by banners and posters was enough to inspire the laziest person to run, just to be a part of it.

The roads were partly cordoned off for the run, and there were people running to warm up and some of them walking down towards the starting point. The colors and the t-shirts were all awesome, all these companies getting together to run for a greener tomorrow! (that was the tagline.)
The CISCO t-shirts were the most vibrant and colorful of the lot, plain white but sprinkled with rainbow colors, and not surprisingly, they did end up winning the best t-shirt design contest at the end of the show.

I wasn't feeling too well, so I had decided to walk, but just being there fueled me with so much energy and excitement that I ran and kept running till i reached the finish line at the F1 pit. I made it in a not-so-bad time - 52.04 mins including the water breaks. So yayy me!

The after party at the hospitality tent was nice, not as happening as i had thought it would be, but food was very welcome after the tiring run and so were the drinks. The white wine as quite nice and a couple of pints of beer later, as I chatted and laughed with my colleagues and new found friends, I had the peaceful air around me of a day well spent, looking forward to the lazy long weekend that was to follow.
I would recommend it to everyone. At least once in your life, you have to participate in a marathon. It's fun, liberating and above all it's an experience like no other.

Teenage Creativity

I wrote this hindi poem when I was 14, in a classroom. It was a free period and we were supposed to revise for our upcoming exams, and I wrote this instead... :)

आज अचानक से ज़हन में एक चिंगारी सी उठी,

नस-नस में बहने लगा गर्म खून,

न जाने कितने मौसम बीत गए इस आलम में

की याद  ही नहीं कबसे जम सी गयी थी ये ज़िन्दगी|

हाँ, पहले भी कभी बहती थी ये लाल नदी,

गर्म-सर्द साँसें जाती थी और लौट के आती थी,

पर कभी नहीं छुआ मेरी आत्मा को इस तरह

जाने या बात ऐसी आज एक लम्हे में हो गयी|

आई अहन से ये लहर और झकझोर दिया 

रूह थर्रा उठी, लबों पे आकर रुकी एक अनसुनी पुकार,

जाने किसकी थी वो अजनबी पर पहचानी सी दास्ताँ

जाने खो गया था किसका अस्तित्व उस भूली बिसरी शाम|

बह रही थी जो ज़िन्दगी समय की तीव्र बहाव पर,

आज अचानक ठहर गयी वो मानवता की पुकार पर|

एहसास एक अनजाना सा जागा मन की गहराईयों से,

एक अनछुआ अजनबी था वो कब्रों के इस शहर में,

खली मेरी आँखें उसने और कानों में चुपके से कहा,

जाग - इंसान है तू...

~Soumya

(1998...dont remember the exact date :))