Chained ambitions...

The blushing rays light up the sky,

The twinkling stars like fairy lights.

To the day's humdrum I bid goodbye,

And peer into the pool of my insights.

The mist settles down and shrouds the surface,

Contentment romances the doubts within.

Amidst the warring echoes, I confess,

I've failed to reach where the days begin.

My hands outstretched, my resolve an arrow,

I dive into my mind's black hole.

Soft and clear like the chirp of a sparrow,

I can hear the whisper of my barren soul.

The mundane has donned the robes of delight,

Those shiny illusions of a mirage.

Don't let them clip your wings of flight,

Warns intellect, looming at large.

Familiarity soothingly puts you under arrest,

That is life, that is it's test,

There will always be an if, but, maybe or lest,

Break free and never cease to thrive for the best!

Philosoph'Y's

Where did I take the turn? Where would I be now if I had chosen a different path? These are questions that arise in my mind and remain unanswered. 

What if God or whatever force it was that created us had made the world in a way that we had all the answers. So that we knew for certain which path leads where and what lies beyond. Would that kind of life have made survival easier or would we have called it a life at all?

Knowing all the answers before hand would have killed the enchantment of the journey, each upheaval that comes and goes in tandem with every breath we take.

The choices we are faced with at every other moment in our lives that make us who we are. Who knows what we might have been had we made different choices? Would those have been the right ones to make? Have we made any mistakes down the road? If so, how do we go about rectifying those errors?

Is there a right or wrong choice after all, or are they just different - no wright or wrong answers?

This mystery that we are living and breathing, the journey we are trudging along called life, where does it end?

Who are we when we die?

Do we become the person we had envisioned ourselves to be when we started on this voyage? 

Or do we fall short?

Do we just end up so far from that person that if by some force of destiny we were to meet our future selves, we would fail to recognize them at all?

Who has the answers?

Do we hold the key? Or is it God?

Does our mind have the powers to control our fate? Are positive thoughts enough to favor an outcome?

These thoughts will stay as questions, seeking to find, but not able to take the leap beyond the question mark. 

What are these emotions? Why do the tears flow from my eyes unabated? Where did they originate and where do they end?

As the earth rotates and day turns into night and night into subsequent day, the questions flutter and revolve around in the human mind. The human mind is vast, bottomless. It is seamless and fleet, traveling miraculous distances in a fraction of a second and accommodating information that we never even imagined we knew. 

Knowledge is but an empty thought if it is without purpose. A kind word is never forgotten, though an advice, however befitting, might hit the ground and turn to dust. 

We may not find the answers to all the questions that erupt as tiny bubbles and burst dissolving into nothingness. But an act of love, a generous smile, a sympathetic hand, a healing touch never vanishes into obscurity.

It stays on for ever like a beacon - massless in itself, but bringing all tangibles into perspective.

Soy sauce chicken wings

You know how some people say they love to eat chicken? Well, I am more selective when it comes to chicken. I absolutely loathe chicken breast and find it chewy and difficult to swallow, no matter how well it is cooked. I always use the chicken leg for all my chicken curries because I find it nice and tender and juicy with lots of flavor.
But, then there are the chicken wings that have me salivating at the mere mention of the name. Be it in any form - breaded and fried, spicy buffalo wings, honey crisp, soy sauce – all of them spell y-u-m-m-y to me.
So this Saturday I went to the grocery mart and picked up a packet of mid-wings. They are not the entire chicken wing but are clipped at the mid-joint and look like this:

As soon as I got home I had this craving for soft melt-in-the-mouth chicken wings and decided to give it a try and make some myself.
And they turned out fantastic and just the way I wanted.
So, I am sharing this super-easy recipe (If I ever forget it, I know where to find it - right here on my blog:)
Ingredients:       

• Chicken wings clipped at mid-joint – 6 pieces (you can use as many as you want – just adjust the sauce accordingly)
•  Ginger-Garlic paste – 1 teaspoon
•  Light soy sauce – 2-3 tablespoons
•  Chinese cooking wine – 2-3 tablespoons
•  Nando’s peri peri garlic sauce – 2 teaspoons (this is spicy so again use more if you want to spice things up) 
• 1 teaspoon canola oil or olive oil. You could also use melted butter. 
• Water   

Procedure:

• Thaw (if required) and wash the chicken wings. 
• Fill a small saucepan up to three quarter with water. 
• Put it on a medium-high flame and add the soy sauce, the cooking rice wine, the peri peri sauce and the ginger garlic paste and stir .
• Add the chicken wings and the teaspoon of oil (I use canola oil or olive oil for all my cooking). The oil is optional and you can skip it altogether. The chicken does release some oil when cooked.
• Bring it to boil and cover it for about 7 mins. 
• Then remove the cover and let the sauce reduce over the medium flame. 
• It takes about 20-25 mins for all the water to evaporate and form a glazy sauce. Once the sauce is reduced …. Voila – you get your amazingly tender chicken wings – ready to serve. 
• Note: The soy sauce and the cooking wine both normally have enough added salt, so no salt is needed.   

This is healthy and easy to make, with minimum frills and fancy. And mmm….I’m lovin’ it!

Lost and Found!

"OK, that's it! The next time I feel the urge to sink deeper into my duvet and call in sick at work, I am going to do it", I declared as I frantically looked around today for my mobile phone.

I knew I had dropped it in the taxi today.

I played the 15 mins journey in my mind over and over and realised it must have slipped out when I removed my wallet from my purse to pay for the cab right outside my office. 

Yes, yes, Ok... I take a taxi to work everyday because I don't like waiting for the bus in Singapore's weather (don't judge!).

Now getting back to the main topic, my only concern was that not only would I lose all my contacts and their nos. but my contacts would not be able to get in touch with me. That would be terrible!

Now, I use a Nokia basic phone whose second-hand value would probably be 20 dollars or so. Needless to say I wasn't too upset over losing the handset. 

In fact, somehow, I was very hopeful I would find it. Maybe because I could hear it ring every time I tried calling it instead of the ominous - "The number you are trying to reach is unavailable or switched off". 

After a lot of 'missed-calls' from my friends, I lodged a request in the lost and found section of the comfort/city cabs and gave the time and destinations of the taxi.

Soon, someone from the lost and found office picked up the call, verified my identity and gave me the address of their office from where I could collect it.

I have new found respect for Singapore and it's people.

Something like this in Tokyo would probably have been "expected" behaviour and if I were in London or India, I probably would not have got it back. I know the above statement is a very 'generalising' one and isn't fair to any of the countries or the people over there, hence I used the word - probably.

But as I returned as a happy girl with my phone in my hand intact with all the contacts and data, I wondered how simple it was to return a smile to a face and put a troubled mind at ease.

The taxi driver who had turned over my phone to the lost and found office would have just spent maybe a few extra minutes to do this kind deed and yet I will pray for his well-being and happiness just because this deed of his saved me so much anxieties and trouble.

God bless you Uncle!

So, what am I going to do about this? I will pay it forward... and hope that soon I get a chance to do some good deed that puts another troubled mind at ease and gets a smile back on someone's lips. :)

"Days"-section

'Don't count the days- make the days count' - goes the saying.

There are countless sayings that focus on every day, such as - "seize the day" or "save the day" or even "Rome wasn't built in a day".

After all, a day is the lego block of lives. So every day should ideally be just as important as any other.

But we have somehow classified days into categories. I was going through some article that actually said that 11 am on a Tuesday is the least productive time of a person's life.

And it got me thinking if it was just about a day and what it was named and the order in which it arrives that determines how it would go.

Why can't a Tuesday be just as awesome as a Saturday?

I was thinking all this on a Friday as I sat at my desk at work. I could see my colleagues dressed up in brighter colours(Yes, people always wear dressier clothes to work on fridays!) and suddenly I turned around and asked one of my colleague what was his favorite day of the week and he picked Friday.

I immediately made a office-communicator-poll out of it and 5 out of 8 picked Friday, 2 picked Saturday and 1 actually picked Sunday.

So the clear winner was Mr. Friday! (I just generally gave the days a male title and it means no offense to ladies, so all the feminists out there - steer clear!)

As my curiosity grew, I checked out on-line polls. 

Here are the stats :

     - Website 1

         Friday - 23%

         Saturday - 38%

       ** Clearly Saturday emerged the winner here and Friday came a close runner-up. The other days got measly percentages of votes and aren't worth mentioning.

     - Website 2

         Friday - 31%

         Saturday - 10%

       ** Clearly Friday emerged the winner here and Saturday came a close runner-up. There was a poll choice here called "Weekend" which got another 10% of votes and even then, Friday still takes the cake.                         

     - Website 3

         Friday - 26%

         Saturday - 20%

       ** Friday was the favorite here and apart from saturday the other days managed to rake up about 4 % altogether.

Now that I collected enough statistics to satisfactorily and safely infer that Friday was most likely to be the winner of the "Popular-Day Pageant", I couldn't help but wonder why.

I mean, ideally, it should be Saturday - it has got all the ingredients in it to be the winner.

a.) It is the first day of the weekend, so you don't have to go to work.

b.) Again, playing the first day of the weekend card means you don't have to worry about getting up early the next day and feel obligated to feel all charged up for the upcoming week.

c.) You get all the weekend action with bars and restaurants staying open until late.

d.) You can get up late and stay up late - just re-iterating a.) and b.)

e.) and a whole lot of etc. etc.

So why does Friday dominate the title?

I asked all the 8 of my friends who very sweetly did not wonder why I was asking them weird questions, and even if they did wonder, they did not call me "weird" on my face ;o) and let me know their thoughts.

The answers in no particular order (some omitted coz it was getting repetitive):

- I like Friday, because it is the last day of the week. I have the whole weekend to look forward to. Two days of relaxation and catching up of sleep. Even if the week has been crappy it still is the last day and so people are generally happy on a Friday.

- I like Friday. Well, maybe people choose Friday over Saturday because there is a sense of hope on a Friday. A lot of looking forward to the weekend. Saturday is already a weekend and then you know it's going to end.

- Friday is always fun because people are more relaxed at work and look forward for the day to end and party. You know you don't have to wake up early the next day.

- I like Saturday. First day of the weekend. You can get out of bed whenever you want. Spend the entire day with family and friends or alone and you don't have to worry about tiring yourself out or gong to bed  on time because the next day is Sunday and you can sleep in again.

- Sunday - Because Sunday is very peaceful. Saturday seems very rushed because we try to fit in everything that has to be done - kids, errands, shopping, housework. Sunday can be relaxed, can prepare for the next day.

One thing was very clear once I had heard all the opinions an views. Human nature thrived on "hope".

A certain "looking forward to" always has to be there for people to be happy.

Is it because life is turning out to be very monotonous and clockwork for everyone?

Most of us have jobs that we take up to earn money and support our lives. Some of us are fortunate enough, or may I say, courageous enough to have jobs that we love. Artists, media, accountants, whatever they might be, they love their jobs and what they do. But even for them, getting out of bed every single day and going to the same building and sitting at the same work station must get a tad repetitive at times, don't you think?

If not, the word "vacation" would not have made it to the dictionary at all.

Everyone needs a change once in a while. A challenge well done makes a day satisfactory. Pursuing a hobby or an interest helps bring a good end to an "alright" day.

We all need these little somethings to look forward to. Something that makes us move on and onwards.

Imagine, waking up and realising that there is absolutely nothing left in the whole wide world that you might look forward to. Would you even want to get out of bed?

I used to look forward to going to work when I started out. Now, I don't like my job as much, but thankfully, I have other things:

- I look forward to getting back home and sketching something new.

- I look forward to ideas that I might write about in this blog.

- I look forward to finishing up the knit-baby-bootie project that I have taken up - I will blog about that next.

(See - another thing to look forward to *grin*)

- I look forward to getting back to school to get my MBA.

- I look forward to having a family someday.

- I look forward to having a job that I actually and truly love.

And the list is long and un-ending and I am glad it is, cause that means I am set for a long-time and it will be a while before I have to worry about waking up purpose-less and life-less.

We all need a drive, a momentum to keep us going forward.

Even if it's as silly as a poll to pick out a favorite day and then dissect it to find out why.

So what's your favorite day and why?

         

Have a little faith

It's amazing how much of a difference it makes just to believe. To have the flicker of faith in your heart and to know that it will remain steady and guide you through the toughest of roads. It will keep you warm and safe and lead you along the right way. Suddenly the realisation dawns and you are peaceful and free because you know you don't have to worry.

I am not a very religious person, but yes, I am very spiritual. I believe that the existence of a world so beautiful and complex such as ours must have been the result of some sort of power. I do not believe that all of this was just a chance. It has to be something greater, something divine that created such intricacies and made it look so simple and wonderful.

I call it my God. I don't believe God can be contained in any religious boundaries or given any forms or restrictions. But yes, I am and always have been intrigued by the different religions. That is mainly because I feel a religion shapes a person and his/her outlook to a certain extent.

Few years ago, I witnessed my closest friend, who is a Muslim, fasting for the holy month of Ramadan. He went 30 days abstaining from food or water from dawn to dusk.
As I watched him, my curiosity was tickled and I started reading about it.
As I got to learn more and more about this, I realised that this was all about self-control and being a better person.

In our day-to-day lives, we do so many things and speak so many words that we tend to forget the purpose of being alive. We forget to think if we hurt someone, we forget to stop and ponder if we did any good deed today and we forget to feel thankful and grateful for being a part of this universe.
There are so many people who are not as fortunate as we are. People who have to go without food and water because they are poor and they are weak. People who have been trapped in the vicious circle of struggling to be alive and need to fight for every drop of nutrition and nourishment.
In the holy month of Ramadan or Ramzan, Muslims observe abstinence. They remind themselves of their good fortune by understanding and accepting the fact that food and water and other things that we take for granted otherwise, are a grace of God.

I found myself believing and it felt to me like I had to be a part of this.

This year, I observed the 30 days of Ramadan and I thank God for seeing me through it.

There are three pillars of Ramzan and the first and most important is "Niyyat" or intentions. You need to have the right intentions. You fast for God and to understand his grace and in obedience to that power which is responsible for this beautiful creation.
I had my intentions in the right place and though I was nervous because this was my first attempt at going without food and water for the duration of 15-16 hrs for 30 whole days, I had the faith that God will guide me.
I used to wake up every morning at 4:30 and have my Sehri or Suhoor. Most of the times it was the night before's left overs with a glass of milk and some fruits or dry fruits. Sometimes, I would just drink Milo and have a toast and go back to sleep.
Trust me, you do not feel hungry at 4 and it is very difficult to keep everything down specially with so much water. You have to have water because there's the risk of dehydration during the day otherwise.
First few days were difficult and I am not very good at staying hungry, but somehow, I never had any problems.
Post sunset, around 7:30pm, I would say my prayers and thank God and pray that the food and water provides me the nourishment if my God wills, and then eat and drink.
Every time I had someone to break my fast with. My friends supported me throughout this month with so much love and understanding. I shared my Ifthar with all of them.
I love you all and all this just made me realise what an amazing set of friends I had.
My sister was extremely supportive and caring and thanks to ramzan, I value her even more if possible.
I always had good food and good thoughts and my faith grew stronger.
Even though I felt ill a couple of times in the morning, and feared if I would be able to pull through the day, my belief never wavered and it was because at the end God did help me sail through with ease.
It felt as if He was physically holding my hand and guiding me, just like a parent looks after a child.

I celebrated Eid-ul-Fitr on 30th of August. I celebrated the joy of the new found faith. I celebrated life.

Now, I don't feel hungry during the day. Sometimes, I forget to drink water. At other times, when I eat something, I try to spit it out and then realise that no, wait a minute, I can eat during the day now. Things are now getting back to normal, but this is an experience that I would cherish.

I controlled my anger, my hunger and my thirst. I now understand what value a simple thing like a glass of water holds. I understand the value of food and hunger and the great feeling associated with helping a person in need or feeding a hungry soul.

There is nothing in life that will seem impossible to me, as my faith that all troubles will be resolved has now been re-inforced.

If you feel let down and your shoulders feel heavy,
Look up and shrug it off, have a little faith
If you think your problems are here to stay,
Smile and let them go, have a little faith
If your health fails you, you feel you won't be able to go on,
Let your God heal you, have a little faith

Our life may not be smooth, and things might not always go as planned. Happiness might be elusive and peace and satisfaction seem like something unattainable.
But a little faith goes a long long way. When you believe in good, you believe in hope, love and what you do and how you do it, you just need to keep walking. Things will work out.
To appreciate the cool quenching nature of water, you have to be dying of thirst. Just like that, the trials and tribulations that life poses, is necessary. Only as you pass through those, would you realise the true worth of peace and happiness.
And when everything seems too hard to bear, just count your blessings ... and you will realise that it is a wonderful world after all!

It's a dog's life

I love the stationary shops and can spend hours in one. 
When I got my bedroom renovated, I spent quite a huge amount of time (and a teeny bit of money, alas!) picking out bits and pieces to liven up my room and shelves. I was looking for a whiteboard with a marker that I could hang on my door just like the one that Joey and Chandler (from the hit TV series F.R.I.E.N.D.S) have.
If you ask me why do I need one, I do not have an answer. I did not have an answer when I was looking for it, but hey, it's my room and if I want a whiteboard with a marker and eraser and I am going to get myself one. Period.

So one evening, my flatmate and I head out to watch a movie (Captain America in 3D) and the only decent seats we get is for the 12:00 AM show. So we decide to utilise the couple of hours we have raiding the only shops in the vicinity that are open, followed by a dinner at burger king.
That's when I spot this ultra cute whiteboard. It's actually a chicken with this bright yellow borders and it holds a marker in it's arms or wings, whatever you may call it. 
(Here's a picture of it hanging right beside my door all bright and cheerful :)

I am delighted as it's the only piece left and I instantly buy it. We raid a few other shops and I end up buying a charming Charles and Keith sandal in blue and brown, and a wrist support to avoid carpal tunnel syndrome due to over-using the keyboard and the mouse at work, and few other knick-knacks. All of it took about an hour and even burger king closes at 11pm, leaving us with an hour to while away.
We roam around for about 30 mins gossiping about the essential differences in the views of a guy and a gal in a relationship and why some work whilst others don't. Profound topic and a giggling duo obviously means no sane conclusions whatsoever.
Finally, we sit down right in front of an escalator in a green bench-type thingy.
My flatmate gets a call from her home at that point, and needless to say I am completely bored. So, I start to go through all my shopping. I try on the shoes and admire them for a long time.
 I remove the whiteboard from the packaging it came in and uncap the marker.
I wonder what to write under the tiny heart shaped box marked "memo". Hmmm... I could be staying in my dream house. I'll wake up early in the morning as my pet St. Bernard (I love dogs and the bigger they are the more adorable they seem to me) will lick my face and thump it's tail against me. And I'll get up with a smile, put on my designer tracks and shoes, switch on the coffee machine and take my dog out for a walk.  
Before I realise I am writing down "Walk the Dog" under the memo with a stupid smile on my lips. 
Just then a guy walks across us towards the elevator, and as he spots me with all the shopping bags unravelled at my feet, a shoe in my hand and writing "walk the dog" on a memo pad at mid-night, in a deserted shopping mall and he gives me a look that says "the girl is completely bonkers....run!". And he actually runs away.
At the same moment, my flatmate and I both realise how it all might have seemed to that stranger and start laughing and don't stop for a long long time. 

The chicken-whiteboard - 3.70 $
The expression on the guy's face? Priceless.